Footsteps
The Man slumped down to the ground, enormous amounts of
exhaustion washed over him. Seconds later, his body becomes very weak, and his eyes start to close, but once the bolt of lightning struck to the hard soil, the Man soon came to realize that he was paralyzed.
Minutes later, the Man recovers from his paralysis , then memories of how he ended up there flowed into his head.“It’s not my fault!, it’s not my fault that book contained personal information!!!”. Suddenly, the sounds of footsteps tingles the Man’s ears, the footsteps get louder by the second! The Man’s heart is rapidly thumping, what’s his next move?
In our class, we were told to write a story based off a dirty Man, and we were also told to only use two paragraphs, and we were also told to use Show not tell. What I enjoyed was using descriptive language. What my next steps are is to probably be more descriptive.
Hi Mathan,
ReplyDeleteI think that even though this narrative was based on a picture it seems like you made it up and thought your own thoughts on what it was based on. I love all the descriptive words. Next time I think you could add less thought to the words because all the words were just overwhelming but even though they were overwhelming they were amazing.
Kind Regards
Julia
Yaldhurst Model School
Thank you very much for your kind comment Juliam. I like how you told what I could do next time and what you liked instead of just saying, "I liked it!". Overall, thank you very much Juliam.
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